Worry and anxiety really show up when we look for work after a long time. It begins with control, or the lack of it that you feel. You may get little feedback, you have no idea of the competition and no sway over job market fluctuations.
Letting anxiety rule because we don’t feel in control can really nobble us. We are tense, don’t perform well in interview or negotiations and are unable to see hidden opportunities that require an open mind. Our conversations won’t flow, we can miss hiring signals in interview. We also won’t show that we can handle pressure at work. When we’re overwhelmed, we cannot focus.
I’ve got good news for you though, you CAN feel a sense of inner control that guards against the panic.
Here is my bulletproof method that IF YOU STICK TO IT will reduce anxiety and help you even enjoy the process. It’s called my “I’m Poised” model because that is how you deserve to feel and come across and I’ll walk you through it in this blog post and the next..let me explain!
Inevitability – Co-operate with it
In Dale Carnegie’s “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” he asks,
“What will happen to you and me if we resist the shards of life instead of absorbing them? What would happen if we refuse to bend like the willow and insist on resisting like the oak?….
We will be worried, tense, stressed and neurotic”. Trying to control outcomes too much is exhausting and impossible. Ask, what is the worst thing that will happen? You will stay where you are; but have built resilience and be clearer on what you want. So then you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Monitor your Thoughts
Catch your thoughts by journaling, are they true, logical, constructive? Pick them apart with your spouse or best mate or imagine doing this. Come up with a fresh set of positive facts and truths to counteract and walk in the new thoughts. Carnegie says “Begin to adopt a mental attitude from which you talk to yourself with courage, frankness and good cheer”. Join my mailing list and receive a really valuable journaling template (free resource).
Perception of Self
Look at your achievements, problems you’ve solved, things you’ve overcome in your life and what qualities you saw in yourself as a result. Rehearse these to yourself until they become a coat of armour when you go out in the world. Believe your pitch until you become it.
Observe what you focus on
And keep affirming these to yourself. This forces you to meditate on the positive and pushes you out of catastrophising. Create a rich picture of the ideal role. Remember the Reticular Activating System ensures you subconsciously move towards what you focus on.
In summary, harness your thoughts and be clear on how great your personal brand is and is becoming. Secondly, you will feel more in control and less anxious if you face down the scariest outcome in your job search at the outset. That you get nothing and need to come up with Plan B. That will be hard…but not impossible to bear.
Stay tuned for the next post where I will walk you through the rest of the model. Join my mailing list and receive a really valuable journaling template.